I hereby resign as being an adult. Here's my card, feel free to shred it. If it means I have to pay an astounding amount of money every month for student loans -- you can have it. I'll go back to being 18 thank you.

Ahhhhh 18. How young and stupid. At 18 I decided that I wanted to go to NYU. I'd take out loans, but surely I'd be making enough money to pay them off. Oh NYU -- you bastard -- you wrecker of dreams -- you snatcher of souls. Yes yes -- there's no denying it, you miscreant institution of education -- you own me, me soul, my first born and anything I ever do in life. I no longer look back fondly on those days of arguing the intracacies of hegemonic political systems or the subtleties of article 1 section 8 in class with overly-entitled trust fund babies. No. Now I just hate you. Hate you because somehow, though I'm making what should be considered "a very good salary," I find myself paying very very close attention to my monthly income versus monthly expenses, and it's giving me a mild anxiety attack every time I look at it.

I thought I was done living like a poor college student. I was feeling like I was finally starting to get ahead a bit. And you sucked me back in you bastard. That's your real legacy -- go to NYU and you'll be living like a student - forever.