So, most days, I'm a totally secure, have my shit together, utterly confident and independent woman. Or at least I fake it very well until I believe it myself, which in turn creates confidence.

Not lately. No. Lately, I'm a suspicious insecure twit. Myspace -- I blame you.

Why? Because there are constantly half-naked women being added as "friends" to my boyfriend's page. I KNOW this is a stupid thing for me to care about. Please do not send me comments on how I need to lighten up, get over it, etc. Rationally, I know all this. Rationally, I know that these little skanks are all e-mailing him because Hello! he's a photographer who does headshots as well as fashion and glamour. You know -- the kind where the girls are artfully posed in a g string and boots, or in lingerie. Tell it to my hormones. I don't understand it myself. I don't care if he's watching porn -- but when I know he's sitting there filing through all these girls profiles, the half naked photos, etc. etc., it DRIVES ME BATSHIT CRAZY. Not all the time, mind you, but I don't know how to deal with it, so if you've got any, you know, constructive ideas, you let me know.

Just a note -- I'm obviously blogging about this so I don't take out my crazy on him, though he's aware that this stuff does make me nuts.

I'm cognizant that a lot of this insecurity may be a result of us moving in together -- it's a really huge step. Naturally, I'm totally petrified, but I do love him, and I want nothing more than to be living together.